Crazy little thing called love

Nothing will ever compare to the first time you hold her. Strength, love, shock, focus. You thought you knew her in your tummy but suddenly she’s a tiny stranger and your soulmate all in one perfectly pure package.

Nothing can prepare you for the first time she gets sick. Yet somehow you’ll be braver and stronger than you ever thought possible.

You’d do anything to take her pain away, truly wishing you could feel it yourself instead.

But you’ll care more about your own health more than ever before because she needs you well. You’ll eat meat for the first time in 20 years because someone tells you it’ll help nourish her. You’ll praise your body for the miracle it created & now sustains far more than you’ll notice its flaws.

You’ll find you really don’t need sleep (or caffeine or wine or even to wee quite as often as you thought). And even when you do sleep you’ll hear her every breath. You’ll sleep through alarms but never through her calls. You’ll be so tired you can’t see straight, hold a conversation or remember the slightest thing, until she needs you and you’re suddenly bouncing from the walls. When you think you can’t, you can and you will, over and over again.

Every moment she breathes your heart keeps beating, every time she smiles it skips a beat.

You won’t have all the answers, you’ll be lucky if you have some of them. But you’ll know her and your body better than anyone else. Your instincts will be right.

You’ll learn more in minutes than you had in years. She might look like she knows nothing but she’ll teach you everything.

You’ll analyse everything she does and always wonder what you did right and wrong. You’ll feel so much guilt when you’ve never been more innocent, more committed, more determined.

You’ll suddenly be able to do everything one handed and what was the longest task will take half the time. A shower will feel like a spa break.

You’ll never have less control. But every time you feel frustration you’ll feel twice the patience.

Nothing she does will disgust or annoy you. You’ll find yourself peering into nappies and wiping sick from your sore breast without even noticing.

You’ll want her to put on weight more than you’ve ever wanted to lose it.

You’ll look back on the life you had before and realise it was empty compared to this. Things that mattered then don’t even feature now.

You’ll laugh at the ideas and knowledge you had before. You thought you had it all figured out. You knew nothing. You’ll do the things you said you never would. You’ll do things you didn’t even know were things.

You’ll understand parents in a way you never could before. Everything they did and you wondered why, you’ll do twice as much. Your parents suddenly make so much sense to you. Everything they said and you rolled your eyes, you’ll think everyday.

The world will keep on turning outside your door without you even looking out, yet you’ll long for it to be a safer place just for her. You’ll need to protect her from every possible evil, you’ll see danger you never even sensed before.

Minutes will turn into hours. Hours into days. Days into weeks. Even the hardest moments will go too fast.

When you thought you couldn’t love your partner anymore, you’ll fall in love all over again. You’ll become the strongest team you could ever imagine.

You’ll recall how you said she wouldn’t take over every conversation but you’ll have nothing else you both want to talk about.

You’ll think you knew the meaning of hard work but you hadn’t even come close. You’ll think you could never run a marathon but you’ll race one every day.

You’ll never feel joy, passion and purpose quite like it.

Your life will only truly begin when hers does.

You’ll love like you never knew was possible.

 

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